After the year I’ve had, I’ve made the Chicks’ The Long Way Around into something of a personal anthem.

A year ago August, I told my partner of 10 years that I was leaving him. It was one of the most painful things I’ve ever done. Writing about it is still painful.

But last summer, I set myself on a journey—one where honesty matters, and bravery leads. Before I told my partner I was leaving him, I started having conversations with friends in a way that delved deeper than I ever had before.

I felt alone in my relationship in a way I could no longer bear. And of course, it wasn’t all one person’s fault. But this was a relationship that no longer served me.

As things turned out, that afternoon in August wasn’t the end. We spent months trying to figure out if we could make things work. With my hand on the door, the things I had been trying to say suddenly clicked with my ex. Was it too late? Could things have gone differently if we had put a little more work in sooner rather than later? The questions follow you like pesky devils sitting on your shoulders.

But here’s the truth: I don’t need those little devils following me around. I spent an agonizing amount of time trying to figure out how to fix things. It’s possible that I will always look back at those 10 years of my life with sorrow, at a relationship that never gave me what I wanted, or needed.

But at 34, I’ve got a life to live ahead of me—and I’m ready.