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Non-binary, but he/him is fine
I spent 30 years looking in the mirror trying to find myself, trying to make sense of myself. Or rather, trying to make sense of how I fit in—perhaps the most terribly cliché of human pursuits—and largely finding that I don’t. (I’m a medievalist for a reason.) Along the way, I played some good roles,…
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We Were Supposed to Be a City on a Hill
In 1630, Puritan lawyer and governor of the Massachusetts Bay Colony John Winthrop uttered the words that have come to represent the audacity of America’s founding enterprise: “For we must consider that we shall be as a city upon a hill. The eyes of all people will be upon us.” Three hundred and fifty years…
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We Started a Patreon
A couple weeks ago, my husband and I were waiting for a bus when we had one of those “What if …?” conversations. The kind that might lead to something wonderful, or perhaps nothing at all. This past year has been one of significant self-discovery for us both. Juan has taken the plunge to begin…
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Driving out the Dark; Or, Making My Peace with Christmas
My feelings on Christmas hit an all-time low when I lived in Indiana. I took a job working for the Purdue Alumni Association. Not a great fit. Things went from bad to worse a few months into the job when we returned from Thanksgiving break to find the entire building covered in Christmas decorations. It…
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Finding My Way Back
When a friend from undergrad heard about my plans to pursue a master’s degree in Wales (Cymru), she told me, “It’s wonderful to hear you’ve found what brings you joy—and will send you to Wales, where you’ve always belonged.” And it’s true. Call it a longing or a calling, but I’ve felt it for a…
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Democrats: Stop Talking Down to Voters
Well, here we are folks. Another Trump presidency. What has surprised me, and I think many, isn’t necessarily that Trump won, but that it wasn’t even close. The numbers still aren’t final, but it looks like Kamala Harris got about 10 million fewer votes than Joe Biden in 2020, whereas Donald Trump has slightly surpassed…
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This is my voice
I spent the final four months of undergrad at York St. John’s University, where I took a creative writing module. I honestly don’t remember any of it very well, apart from two gems from the instructor: First, that I had been using “per se” incorrectly my whole life. (Thanks.) And second, in response to a…
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Writing from the other side of a year
A year ago, I found out that I was losing my job. Two months into a graduate program is particularly bad timing (or at least it felt that way at the time). And right after moving in together with my husband to our first apartment, in a new city, with no friends or social network. …
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In Reflection: A Year of Self-Discovery in Wales
I spent the first twenty-odd years of my life doing everything I could to hide myself. Talk to just about any queer person over the age of twenty-five, and they probably have a similar story. It wasn’t until my late teens that I started tottering toward self-acceptance. Unfortunately, my first relationship put this journey on…
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Thoughts as I Finish My Dissertation
These days, the act of sitting down and writing a dissertation on an eight-hundred-year-old text feels absolutely absurd. I believe on some level that what I’m doing is important and in fact relevant—whatever that means. What is relevant these days? These days are dark; indeed, some of the darkest I have lived. A recent social…